"I Want": The Power of Positive Self-Talk

Have you ever said to yourself, "I can do this!" I know I have. One of my running routes ends in a short-but-steep incline, and for years, I would think, or even say aloud, "I can do this! I can do this!" as I ran up the hill.

There's nothing inherently wrong with this kind of self-coaching, but even when I made it to the top of the hill, I didn't find my self-talk especially useful. It almost seemed as though my self-talk made the run more uncomfortable, rather than less.

We talked last week about using self-determination theory, which is based on the belief that people don't like to be told what to do. As I thought about how true that premise is, and my "I can do this!" mantra, it occurred to me that "I can do this!" focuses only on whether or not I can do something, not on my motivation for doing it. And, as I'm fond of telling my children, "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should!" Little wonder, then, that saying "I can do this!" wasn't all that motivating.

So, I changed up "I can do this!" for "I want this!" -- and the change was remarkable. I had no problem thinking of reasons I wanted to run up that hill, from "I want to build my glutes and hamstrings, so belly dance is easier!" to "I want to burn off all that fruitcake and eggnog I ate over the Christmas season!" to "I want to be healthy and fit!"

"I want" worked beautifully with physical activity, so I tried it out in other areas, too. I quickly discovered it's an easy way to counter negative self-talk. Here are some examples of ways you could use "I want" to motivate you:

• I don't feel like walking today...but I want to be healthy
• I hate drinking water! -- but I want to make sure I'm really hungry, not thirsty
• It's been a horrible day and I really deserve a treat...but I want to stay on track with healthy eating

Now it's your turn! Think about what you're finding most challenging as you follow through on your plans for a lifetime of health and happiness. Next, identify your negative thoughts. How can you change those negative thoughts that are holding you back into "I want" statements? Post below, and let us know what you experiment with, and how it goes! :)

New Year, New Motivation...New You!

Happy new year! Today we're going to take a fresh look at motivation. Motivation is often one of the first obstacles to successful weight loss, and it's something everyone wrangles with at least occasionally. So, let's see how we can punch up our motivation, and enjoy more weight management success!

There are many theories about how motivation works. One of these theories is self-determination theory (or SDT). Self-determination theory is based on the premise that people don't like to be told what to do. (I can relate -- can you?) According to Deci and Ryan (2008), the psychologists who developed self-determination theory, there are five different categories of motivation:

1. Intrinsic: You do something because you like it.
2. Integrated: You do something because it's who you are.
3. Identified: You do something because it helps you reach a goal.
4. Introjected: You do something because you think you should.
5. External: You do something in order to avoid punishment, or get a reward.

Are you wondering how self-determination theory can help you? Let's say your physical activity goal for cardio is to reach 10,000 steps a day on your pedometer. If your motivation is introjected, you'll probably think something like, "Well, I guess I should try to get in 10,000 steps today, because I guess it'll help me lose some weight."

Compare that to someone who's motivation is integrated, who might think, "I'm going to get at least 10,000 steps today, because that's just the kind of person I am!" If I were the gambling type, I'd put my money on the person whose motivation is integrated. Wouldn't you?

Once you identify your motivation, you can develop affirmations that encourage a shift in your motivation. For instance, if your motivation for physical activity is introjected ("I know I should exercise today, but I really don't want to"), you can use self-determination theory to make your thoughts more motivating. Here are some examples:

• You might choose a reward to motivate you (external motivation)
• You could say, "Being physically active helps me reach my weight management goals!" (identified motivation)
• You could say, "I'm going to be active today because I'm someone who exercises every day!" (integrated motivation)

So, here's your challenge for the week:

1. Find one aspect of weight management that's difficult for you.
2. Identify your SMART goal for that aspect of weight management. (Good thing you did this last week, right?)
3. Pay attention to your thoughts about your goal for three days. Write those thoughts down!
4. After three days, examine your thoughts and identify your motivations.
5. Challenge yourself to make your thoughts more motivating, using the self-determination theory categories.

One aspect of weight management that's challenging for me is getting enough rest. I don't need much sleep, but I need to be asleep no later than 11:30 PM. Since I get home from work around 9:30 PM several nights a week, following through on my sleep goals can be iffy. After observing my thoughts for a few days, I noticed they were usually along the lines of, "I really should stop puttering around on the computer and go to bed..."

When I challenged this thought with, "Yes, I should...because I'm the kind of person who makes sure I get enough rest, so I can get things done the next day!" I found it surprisingly easy to disconnect from the Internet and get in bed. And, when I woke up refreshed the next day -- and it really was easier to be the kind of person who gets things done -- following through on my new integrated motivation was easier still.

I'm looking forward to hearing how you use self-determination theory to master your thoughts and create your own motivating affirmations that not only help you be successful, but make the journey easier and more enjoyable. Keep us posted! :)

Three Tips for Successful SMART Goals

Today's the last day of 2013! Are you ready for a new year full of health and happiness? If you answered 'Yes!" I trust that's because you've already given some thought to how you'll make it happen. If you haven't, then now's the time to translate your hopes for the new year into SMART goals that will help you make those dreams into reality.

Three Tips for Successful SMART Goals

1.  SMART goals need to be based on behavior change. Goals like, "I want to lose 10% of my current weight," or "I want to get back into a size 30 waist," are terrific starting points for developing a SMART goal. To make these goals specific, though, you'll need to focus on your behavior -- and if you intend to maintain your new weight, you'll need to focus on behavior changes you can maintain for a lifetime.

I encourage you to consider developing goals based on small-but-meaningful changes. Zero in on an aspect of weight management you can control: Change up your eating habits, be more active, drink more water, get more rest, manage stress, take care of your health. (Feeling overwhelmed? Not to worry! We'll be looking at ways to be successful with each of these aspects of weight management in 2014.)

2.  Make sure your goals have a time frame. Perhaps one of the most common mistakes people make when they begin developing weight management goals is failing to include an end date. At first glance, it makes sense: If you're going to make behavior change for a lifetime, who needs end dates, right? Wrong. In fact, the opposite is true. Because you're making behavior change for a lifetime, it's crucial that you develop some short-term goals. Without short-term goals, weight management becomes a grueling, never-ending experience.

As you're thinking about a time frame, I urge you to consider goals that sound like, "I will track my water intake for 14 days," rather than, "I will track my water intake for two weeks." That way, if you miss a day or two in two weeks -- and chances are extremely good you won't do things perfectly -- you don't need to start over again. Instead, you just get back on track with your goal.

This truth leads to Tip #3, which is...

3.  Consider building a reward into your goal. Rewards make the journey fun. If your goal is "I will walk during my lunch break for 14 days," but going for a walk isn't your favorite thing, then planning ahead for a reward after you've been successful will benefit you in two ways. First, it'll give you something to look forward to as you're out walking. And second, if you choose a tangible, non-food reward, you'll have something to remind you of your success.

For example, I once worked with a client who bought herself a charm bracelet, and every time she reached a goal, she bought herself a charm for the bracelet. After a year of reaching goals, she had a gorgeous bracelet laden with charms, each one representing a success. You don't need to buy a charm bracelet, of course. You might buy yourself a new workout shirt or a new yoga mat. Or, treat yourself to a new album for your MP3 player.

We'll get back to work next Tuesday. Until then, I wish you and yours much health and happiness in the new year!

Top Five Tips for Handling the Holidays

Christmas is almost here, and New Year's Eve is fast approaching! As we head into these final weeks of the year, losing -- or even maintaining -- weight can be a real challenge. So, let's take a look at...

Donna's Top Five Tips for Handling the Holidays

1. Stay active. This is not the time of year to worry over whether you're logging enough time in the gym, or getting enough steps on your pedometer. All that matters in these last two weeks of December is whether you are moving around as often as you can. Organize a family walk, have a dance party, go caroling, or start a tennis or bowling championship with friends and family using your gaming system. If all you can manage is a ten-minute walk, don't sweat it. Get up and get walking!

2. Plan ahead for balance. There's no better time than the holidays to think about what really matters, and make sure your actions are in line with your beliefs. Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to do everything perfectly, attend every party, or drink eggnog and eat fruitcake. You do have to set limits, though, so you can actually enjoy the activities that matter most to you.

3. Manage stress. The holidays, for all their joy and wonder, can also be a difficult time. The general hustle and bustle, societal expectations, loneliness and loss, financial worries, and many other concerns can ramp up in December. Break out your assertive communication skills. Take time for yourself. Ask for help when you need it.

4. Up your water intake. It's one of the simplest things you can do during the holiday season, but it's often overlooked. Staying hydrated is good for your mood, helps you avoid headaches, and does wonders for dry skin. Drinking water also gives you something to do with your hands, instead of eating or drinking at get-togethers. In addition, all that extra water gives you an excuse to head to the restroom, where you can take a short sanity break!

5. Write it down. Whether we're talking about a food record, physical activity, or any other aspect of weight management, you'll find it easier to focus on -- and reach -- your goals if you keep track. Write down your goals, and keep them where you'll see them throughout the day. Keep track of how it goes as the day progresses. Don't worry about being perfect. Learn from what happens, and build on your successes.

My family and I will be celebrating Christmas next week, so I won't be back until the last week of December. We'll talk then about how to up your odds of weight management success in the new year (and no, it won't involve the cabbage soup diet!). Regardless of what holidays you may be celebrating this time of year, I wish you and yours all the best, and hope you enjoy a happy, healthy December! :)

Focus on Maintaining, Not Losing

For many people, December isn't just the holiday season. It's also a time when weight loss is a real challenge. Chances are, you're busier than usual, which makes physical activity and adequate rest less likely. You'll probably face both more frequent and higher-calorie temptations, food-wise. And the holidays tend to bring a mix of both positive and negative stresses, on top of the ordinary stress and anxiety we face every day.

That said, I have a novel proposition for those of you who are working on weight loss: Why not consider maintaining, instead of losing, weight this year? The challenges of the holiday season make  maintaining weight a more realistic goal -- even if you're enjoying success with weight loss. Maintaining weight means you'll need to keep doing what you're doing, of course. But, just as with weight loss, you don't need to do weight maintenance perfectly to do it well!

With maintenance, you have a little more leeway than you do with weight loss. It's okay to stay up late a few nights, enjoy a half-cup or two of eggnog, have a few candy canes, and cut back on your workouts a little (or even skip a few). You won't lose weight, because you're not keeping up with the behaviors that lead to weight loss. But as long as you don't get too carried away, you won't gain weight, either.

That said, I want to point out that the holidays tend to encourage getting carried away, whether the topic is shopping for gifts, partying, or food choices. And, of course, that's why so many people gain weight during the holiday season.

So, this holiday season, I encourage you to consider how you can change what you're doing a little bit. Not a lot, just a little -- just enough to give you some leeway to enjoy the holiday season, without crossing the line to abandon. It's crucial to give it some thought now, and to plan ahead for the challenges you're likely to face. That way, you can relax, enjoy the holiday season, and maintain your weight. So, when January arrives, you're ready to get back on track with your weight loss behaviors that will keep you on the path to health and happiness.

If you're already maintaining your weight, then spending some time thinking about how you'll maintain is even more important. Whatever you're doing on a regular basis is just enough to keep you where you are, so any indulgences you enjoy put you at risk for weight gain. That means it's especially important to think ahead to how you'll create a balance between the things you do that allow you to maintain your weight, and the things you'll do differently during the holiday season.

We'll continue talking about handling the holidays next week. Until then, post and let us know what challenge you face this holiday season, and how you plan to tackle it. See you next Tuesday! :)