"I Want": The Power of Positive Self-Talk

Have you ever said to yourself, "I can do this!" I know I have. One of my running routes ends in a short-but-steep incline, and for years, I would think, or even say aloud, "I can do this! I can do this!" as I ran up the hill.

There's nothing inherently wrong with this kind of self-coaching, but even when I made it to the top of the hill, I didn't find my self-talk especially useful. It almost seemed as though my self-talk made the run more uncomfortable, rather than less.

We talked last week about using self-determination theory, which is based on the belief that people don't like to be told what to do. As I thought about how true that premise is, and my "I can do this!" mantra, it occurred to me that "I can do this!" focuses only on whether or not I can do something, not on my motivation for doing it. And, as I'm fond of telling my children, "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should!" Little wonder, then, that saying "I can do this!" wasn't all that motivating.

So, I changed up "I can do this!" for "I want this!" -- and the change was remarkable. I had no problem thinking of reasons I wanted to run up that hill, from "I want to build my glutes and hamstrings, so belly dance is easier!" to "I want to burn off all that fruitcake and eggnog I ate over the Christmas season!" to "I want to be healthy and fit!"

"I want" worked beautifully with physical activity, so I tried it out in other areas, too. I quickly discovered it's an easy way to counter negative self-talk. Here are some examples of ways you could use "I want" to motivate you:

• I don't feel like walking today...but I want to be healthy
• I hate drinking water! -- but I want to make sure I'm really hungry, not thirsty
• It's been a horrible day and I really deserve a treat...but I want to stay on track with healthy eating

Now it's your turn! Think about what you're finding most challenging as you follow through on your plans for a lifetime of health and happiness. Next, identify your negative thoughts. How can you change those negative thoughts that are holding you back into "I want" statements? Post below, and let us know what you experiment with, and how it goes! :)