Word Power: A Weighty Matter

A student in my online class recently shared she'd like to "look good" as she ages. I appreciated the timeliness of her post, as I just celebrated my 47th birthday over the weekend.


In addition to giving me pause for personal reasons, her choice of words jumped out at me. Words like good, bad, ugly, pretty, fat, and thin are all subjective terms; that is, they lack a specific meaning. We use words like good or bad, ugly or pretty, fat or thin, to compare one thing to another. Often, we use these particular subjective terms as a way to hurt ourselves or others. A friend of mine once summed this up perfectly by observing that she'd like to be as thin as she was a decade ago, back when she thought she was fat. Because neither fat nor thin have specific meanings, she saw what she once considered fat as thin!  


Not surprisingly, the use of subjective words often slips right by us, leaving us feeling inadequate as we are. It's easy for these subjective words to sneak into our self-talk and throw us off-balance. If I defined "looking good" as "looking like I did when I turned 30," then my 47th birthday would have been a severe disappointment.


Happily, because good does not have a specific meaning, we can choose for ourselves what "looking good" means. I believe "looking good" means the way I look when I'm eating healthy, getting daily physical activity, taking excellent care of my health, skin, and teeth, managing stress, getting adequate quality sleep, and getting enough water. It means taking time for makeup and fashion that flatters me and celebrates my individuality. It means taking time to love, be creative, strive for balance, grow and mature, and develop my spiritual life.


When I'm successfully following through on these activities, I look good, in the healthiest and most holistic sense. Is my hair as thick and healthy as it was when I turned 30? Am I as thin? Is my skin as supple and wrinkle-free? Of course not. But I firmly believe I look just the way I need to look, in order to do the work I was put on Earth to do. And that, my friends, is truly good -- in an objective, not subjective, way.


So, I challenge you to pay close attention to when, why, and how often you use subjective words like good, bad, thin, fat, ugly and pretty -- and question whether you're using these words as a way to hurt yourself. If you are, I encourage you to consider being honest with yourself, and to choose words that are objective and truthful, like overweight or underweight.


What do you think? Are you honest with your choice of words? Or do you choose to hurt yourself or others by using subjective words? Feel free to sound off below! :)

Beat Cravings! Change the Cognitive Distortions of Cravings

Have you noticed that weight management is usually easiest in the beginning? That can be the honeymoon effect: Although making change is challenging, it’s also exciting. It’s when people feel most hopeful and powerful. On top of the honeymoon effect, many people lose weight quickly in the first few months…only to see weight loss slow down, or even plateau. When weight loss slows or stops, it’s easy to feel frustrated with following through on healthy eating, physical activity, getting enough rest, adequate hydration, and managing stress. That frustration can turn into a lapse…and a lapse or two can all-too-easily turn into a relapse.

What can you do to prevent lapses, or keep a lapse from turning into a relapse? For many people, cravings are their downfall. Of course, the occasional craving isn’t much more than an annoyance, a speed bump on the road to weight management success. Cravings aren’t just frustrating, though. A craving can turn into a lapse, which can trigger a relapse.

So, how can you bust cravings? In “Lose Weight” we look at several strategies, including engaging in a nurturing activity, physical activity, and using affirmations. Today we’ll uncover a powerful new tool for your cravings-busting arsenal – the cognitive distortions underneath your cravings.

 Think back to the last time you had a craving. Do you remember what you were thinking as you were craving? Chances are it sounded like one of these cognitive distortions:

1. The craving is unbearable
2. The craving is too powerful
3. This craving will never stop
4. This craving is making me crazy

When you’re in the throes of a craving, any one of these thoughts may seem true – but, in fact, none of them are. Think back to that craving again. Even as you were thinking the craving was unbearable, you were, in fact, enduring the craving. It wasn’t pleasant, but it wasn’t unbearable. The same is true for each of the other cognitive distortions. You’ve already been resisting the craving, so it’s not that powerful. The craving may continue for a while, but eventually, it will stop. And while in the moment it does seem as though the craving is making you crazy, it can’t.

So, how can you bust cravings before you give in to them? The next time a craving starts to sing its siren song to you, change its tune! Here’s an example of how you can “answer” each of the cognitive distortions we looked at earlier:

1. I’ve been successful this long. I can put up with this craving a little longer.
2. As powerful as this craving is, I’ve been more powerful! I can continue to be powerful a little while longer.
3. Even though it seems like this craving will never stop, I know that’s not true. Nothing lasts forever – not even the most intense cravings. After all, never is a very long time!
4. It sure feels like this craving is making me crazy, but I know it actually can’t make me crazy.

When you have the option to nurture yourself, do some physical activity, or deal with the temptation directly (by walking away from temptation, putting away leftovers, giving food away, asking the server to remove it, etc.), I encourage you to do so. Sometimes, though, our thoughts are all that stand between us and giving in to a craving. In those cases, identifying the cognitive distortion behind a craving, and changing it into a positive thought, can give you the power you need to successfully bust the craving.

So, are you ready to put this tool to work? Think back to your last craving again, and come up with at least one or two counter-thoughts. Write them down, and put them where you’ll see them daily. Practice countering your cravings by saying your cravings-busters out loud at least once every day, for two weeks. If you can, post your cravings-busters where you can see them when your cravings are strongest.

Now it’s your turn! What situation or food creates cravings for you? How can you counter your cognitive distortions? Let us know how it goes as you experiment with finding and changing your cravings-related cognitive distortions! J

"I Want": The Power of Positive Self-Talk

Have you ever said to yourself, "I can do this!" I know I have. One of my running routes ends in a short-but-steep incline, and for years, I would think, or even say aloud, "I can do this! I can do this!" as I ran up the hill.

There's nothing inherently wrong with this kind of self-coaching, but even when I made it to the top of the hill, I didn't find my self-talk especially useful. It almost seemed as though my self-talk made the run more uncomfortable, rather than less.

We talked last week about using self-determination theory, which is based on the belief that people don't like to be told what to do. As I thought about how true that premise is, and my "I can do this!" mantra, it occurred to me that "I can do this!" focuses only on whether or not I can do something, not on my motivation for doing it. And, as I'm fond of telling my children, "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should!" Little wonder, then, that saying "I can do this!" wasn't all that motivating.

So, I changed up "I can do this!" for "I want this!" -- and the change was remarkable. I had no problem thinking of reasons I wanted to run up that hill, from "I want to build my glutes and hamstrings, so belly dance is easier!" to "I want to burn off all that fruitcake and eggnog I ate over the Christmas season!" to "I want to be healthy and fit!"

"I want" worked beautifully with physical activity, so I tried it out in other areas, too. I quickly discovered it's an easy way to counter negative self-talk. Here are some examples of ways you could use "I want" to motivate you:

• I don't feel like walking today...but I want to be healthy
• I hate drinking water! -- but I want to make sure I'm really hungry, not thirsty
• It's been a horrible day and I really deserve a treat...but I want to stay on track with healthy eating

Now it's your turn! Think about what you're finding most challenging as you follow through on your plans for a lifetime of health and happiness. Next, identify your negative thoughts. How can you change those negative thoughts that are holding you back into "I want" statements? Post below, and let us know what you experiment with, and how it goes! :)