Let's Talk (Thanksgiving) Turkey!

Are you feeling thankful? Or are you worrying about how you'll stay on track with your weight management goals next week? If you're leaning toward the latter, you're in good company. Thanksgiving is a challenging holiday, whether you're looking to lose weight or just maintain. After all, the day itself is focused on food! Happily, the day doesn't need to do damage to your weight management goals. Take a look at my top five tips for successfully managing Thanksgiving:

 

Donna's Top Five Thanksgiving Tips

1. Write it down. Writing down what you're eating is the best way to stay on track with your weight management goals. If you're not in the habit of writing down what you're eating, consider focusing on a specific challenge area. For example, if you tend to overdo appetizers, write them down. If dessert or drinks are your downfall, write them down. Amping up your eating awareness, even if you're only paying attention for some of the day, is better than blindly noshing and munching your way through the day.
2. Have a plan for stress management. For some, Thanksgiving is a relaxing, enjoyable day with no work and no worries. But for many of us, it's a day fraught with both work and worry. If you use food to help you cope with feelings, give some thought to how you'll manage your feelings. Thanksgiving is a perfect day to practice reasonable expectations for yourself and others, work on controlled breathing, explore aromatherapy, and put your assertive communication skills to work!
3. Think about physical activity. The idea isn't to burn off the calories you're eating. Instead, focus on finding a balance between on food and Thanksgiving Day. For example, challenge family and friends to a game of tennis or bowling on your gaming system, go outside and toss around a football, or put on some favorite music and dance. Or, maybe you'd benefit from a quiet walk around the neighborhood. Either way, moving your body helps you stay in touch with how your body feels and needs.
4. Be thankful. As simple and obvious as it sounds, taking the time to really feel thankful is something that's often overlooked in the hustle and bustle of the day. Write down one thing you're thankful for, and post your note where you will see it often as the day progresses. Make a list of your blessings, and share it with others. Give of your time, talent, or treasure to others, or make plan to do so during the holiday season or next year. Enjoy the gifts and blessings you've received this year! 
5. Keep your goals reasonable. If you usually eat 3 pieces of pie loaded with ice cream and whipped topping, cutting back to no dessert may start off well enough. Often, though, it morphs into an evening of, "Well, I'll just have a bite of yours..." "Well, I didn't have dessert, so eating my kid's leftover pie crust should be okay..." "Well, I haven't really had a plate of my own, so a little sliver won't do me any harm..." We all know how this game ends! It's more reasonable to plan ahead for one piece of pie, with a small scoop of ice cream and a dollop of whipped cream. 

Now it's your turn...How do you successfully navigate the Thanksgiving holiday? Share your tips and tricks with us! Next week, we'll take a look at a recipe for a sugar-free, lowered-fat, tofu-based sweet potato pie -- and yes, it tastes just as good as the usual sugar-laden, high-fat recipe. :) See you then!

Feeling Angry? Check This Out!

“Do not teach your children never to be angry; teach them how to be angry.” – Lyman Abbott

Did the people who raised you teach you how to be angry? Are you comfortable expressing anger, and can you manage your anger appropriately? For many of us, the answers to these questions make us uncomfortable: We haven’t learned how to express anger at all, or we allow our anger to turn into rage.

Either way, that’s unfortunate, because our feelings so often dictate our behavior. When our feelings are out of control, it usually leads to out-of-control behavior—including eating behavior. For example, you might eat to smother anger “because it’s not nice to get mad.” Or, you may let anger turn to rage, then eat “because I need to calm myself down.”

Because the function of food is to nurture our bodies, not manage our feelings, eating to control emotions generally doesn’t end well. When we manage our feelings appropriately, managing our eating is considerably easier. So, it’s worthwhile to make sure we’re managing our feelings, including anger, as effectively as we can.

Many people learn, either directly or indirectly, that anger is “bad” or “wrong.” There’s nothing inherently wrong with anger, per se. That said, anger becomes unhealthy when it’s a cover for another uncomfortable feeling. When someone cuts you off in traffic, you might respond with an angry comment or gesture. Does anger really make sense in that moment, though? When someone puts you in physical danger, a more reasonable response is fear.

So, why do we see road rage, instead of road fear? The answer is simple: Anger creates distance. When we need to create distance in relationships, anger is the right response. But when the needed emotional response is sadness, fear, or guilt, responding with anger creates distance between us and the situation. But it also creates distance between us and our feelings underneath the anger.

That’s unfortunate, because the feelings from which we distance ourselves don’t go away. You can run, but you can’t hide from your feelings! Instead, it makes more sense to feel our feelings as we experience them, even when they’re not fun. Once we experience our feelings fully, they fade away.

An equally common challenge in managing anger is keeping it from turning into rage. Many of us were raised by parents who allowed themselves to get out of control when they got angry. Sometimes that creates an unconscious expectation that sounds like, “Now that I’m an adult, I can do what I want!” Unfortunately, that’s not a very healthy perspective. Most of us really want to act on the expectation, “I do the right thing, no matter what.” Getting so angry that you hurt yourself, others, or things is rarely the right thing to do, and it often leaves us feeling worse instead of better.

Are you ready to work on managing your anger more effectively? Here are a few starting points:

Be aware of your feelings. Practice identifying anger as soon as it starts, so you can connect with just how angry you are. When anger comes up, approach it with curiosity: Is there another feeling underneath? If so, what is it? How can you deal with that emotion, instead of getting angry?

Have a plan. If you’re the type to slide right from anger into rage, plan ahead. Count backward from ten in a foreign language, practice controlled breathing, or have a calming mantra handy. If you tend to let your anger simmer, make a plan to talk with others about resentments when they’re minor, rather than waiting until things are unbearable.

I’m not one to let my feelings simmer quietly, so I practice approaching my anger with curiosity, and asking myself, “Under my anger, what am I really feeling?”Sometimes I’m genuinely mad, but because feeling fear is hard for me, under my anger I often find fear. When I address my feelings of fear, it’s sometimes overwhelming how well things go for me! What about you? Where are you with managing your anger? Sound off below!