Getting vs. Being Thin

On Wednesday we talked about how you perceive yourself -- that is, whether you see yourself as someone who needs to lose weight, or someone who maintains a healthy weight. Today I'd like to look at this same topic from a different angle, and offer some suggestions for change.

Many -- maybe most -- people don't give much thought to their weight until they need to lose weight. From a weight management perspective, this means most people live their lives thinking about getting thin, instead of being thin. That's too bad, because the truth is that we're in relationship with our bodies from the time we're born until the day we die.

There are many parallels between weight and money mangement, and I think this is another one. Many (again, maybe most) people who suddenly come into money usually end up back where they started financially -- or even worse off. It's ironic to me that this is usually the case with weight management, too.

Again, perhaps that's because the focus is on getting, rather than being. If your only focus is winning the lottery, and you never think about how you'll manage the challenges of wealth (let alone sudden wealth), if you never consider how you'll maintain your wealth, chances are you'll end up losing that wealth in the long run.

Likewise, if your only focus is to lose weight, you're probably not thinking about how you'll maintain your weight, cope with the positive and negative reactions you'll get from others, and so on. And odds are, you'll end up not just regaining the weight, but gaining an extra five or ten (or more) pounds. In essence, you end up worse off than you were before you won the weight loss lottery, so to speak.

So, what can you do instead? Here are a few thoughts:

1) Accept thyself. Try being happy with your body, even if it's just one aspect of your body. After all, it's still getting you around Earth in some way.

2) Make meaningful changes. Instead of jumping on the latest weight loss bandwagon, ask yourself what you can honestly change that will positively affect your weight.

3) Be patient. Lasting weight management is about entering into a long-term, honest relationship with your body. That goes entirely counter to the typical diet mentality of "No pain, no gain," but it's still the best way to real weight management.

4) Change your perspective. Stop thinking of you and your body as enemies at odds with one another. Consider thinking of your body as an ally, a friend, even a lover. How can you show your body cameraderie and caring?

5) Think things through. Changing your behaviors is best done by changing your thoughts. Start paying attention to your self-talk, and change up the things you say to yourself about your body if you need to. Try changing "I want or need to lose weight," to "I want or need to be thin," and see how your behaviors change.

We'll tackle this topic further next week, and consider how parenting styles (both your own and those of the people who raised you) affect weight management. Until then, I'd love to hear what you're thinking right now about getting vs. being thin. Leave me a comment and let me know!